The StunLock

The Chinese Communist Party is in hot water with Sony after revealing the trailer for their brand new Horizon: Zero Dawn mod: Light of Motiram. The mod, introducing slight alterations to the world, combat, and items, pays homage to the original game by keeping everything as close to the original as possible, while also breathing new life into Horizon for hardcore players that need something fresh.

Horizon: Zero Dawn is nearly a decade old at this point, and while many fans are supportive of the CCP’s mod-work, Sony is behaving a lot like Nintendo if Nintendo was big, stupid, and ugly. In the past, mods for old Sony games were received with a quiet respect. But as of late, one might assume Sony was being run by a dictatorship, or something.

In a statement by Sony CEO Hiroki Totoki, the official reasoning behind the lawsuit was confirmed:

“The CCP has had a long-standing tradition of making mods not just for our games, but games across the entire industry. Whether souls-like combat downgrade mods, dialogue destruction mods, or simple Pokémon breeder mods, if it exists, the CCP has made a worse version of it.

But it has come to our attention recently that the CCP is soon to release their new Horizon: Zero Dawn mod which makes our main character, Aloy, hotter. Here at Sony, we take pride in our creative vision, and the whole point of Aloy’s existence is to get men confused. Like, just look at her. She’s not ugly by any means, but you also kinda get the vibe that she is merely drunk-party hot. Someone you’d hookup with once or twice and then try to forget about. But the CCP’s mod, titled ‘Light of Motiram’, makes Aloy hot in a way that borders on marriage material. We find this to be unacceptable.

When looking at the artwork for Light of Motiram, one finds that the main character has a very nuanced ‘might be sixteen, might be twenty-five’ aesthetic that is just about unbeatable in the hotness category. We at Sony believe that Horizon players should come to appreciate Aloy, NOT fall in love with her.

Additionally, as a Japanese person, I just fuckin’ hate the Chinese.”

– Hiroki Totoki, computer hacker.

The lawsuit is an ongoing process that will probably result in The Light of Motarim only being available in China, which makes up roughly 90% of the world’s population and has no copyright laws in place that are important enough for the CCP to care about. What, are the CCP going to arrest themselves? Hah!